In the last week or so, I've been working on making a trip from Texas to Washington for a move for a friend. The needs were simple, just avoid Idaho. No real sightseeing, just get us there in four days. Super simple, super easy, and super heartbreaking.

I havent' done a cross country trip since 2018. I didn't feel safe anymore crossing the hostile areas in Arizona, Utah, Idaho and Montana. I used to, to be sure, but that's because I had a basic belief in Americans: "If you need help, people will help you." But about 2018, people took off the masks, felt emboldened to hate, and I no longer felt safe crossing through those areas. Heck, I'm even wobbly about driving around eastern Washington just because I'm brown.

I did make an Oregon Trail roadtrip I'd planned around that time. The number one thing, though, was that I would only stop at chain hotels and gas stations. Anything that involved being around people, even historical sites, would be passed by.

Now it's not even a matter of "If you need help." It's a matter of the state governments actively creating laws against transfolk. I know Mom is sad that I don't go to Texas anymore. And I know where in Texas I can go and everything will be good (Austin, San Antonio, a rapidly shrinking portion of the Hill Country).

But say I get pulled over for something, speeding, not having a state inspection sticker (I actually got pulled over for that on one of my trips in Texas - Washington registered cars don't have state inspection), and end up in a jail? I'm in a system that, at this point, is DESIGNED to legally misgender, misclassify and ignore my legal status as a woman.

I'm going back to Texas for the lunar eclipses coming up. I really don't want to miss those given I missed the last one in Oregon after spending $1000 on accomodations and equipment. I do plan to at least visit one site in the Hill Country where a Native/Cowboy fight took place. But I won't be going alone. And I won't be going pretty much anywhere else.

It's just not safe anymore. And I feel kind trapped on this side of the Cascades, with very few places on the other side in my reach feeling very safe.