Had a long conversation last night with a friend, and touched on this a little this afternoon with another, about how Virtual Worlds and Virtual Reality have really helped make my life a lot more...livable. I've been in Second Life for seventeen years, and Resonite for about four months.

I've often said my goal in my transition is "to be ignored." No double takes, no making fun, just...going through life. But VR has made me realize something else I've wanted. Enjoying the body I'm in.

The big difference between the Second Life and Resonite is in how you experience it. In Second Life, you move an action figure of yourself around. In Resonite, you ARE the Action Figure.

There are things I'd do in Second Life because it was expected of me. Like going to parties - I like to sit and enjoy the company, but I also dance there. Not because I want to dance, but because it's expected. I click the poseball, tell it I want to dance, and Carrie dances. I sit and watch her do it.

But the other day, I was exploring around Resonite and found myself in a coffee shop there that had a puzzle for you to solve for a prize. As I was searching around, there was some nice music playing, and I noticed I was bopping to it. And unlike Second Life, when you're bopping in Resonite, you're also bopping with your body.

Also last night, I noticed I emote and gesticulate a lot in VR. More so than in real life. I make little gestures, and nod or tilt my head and what not...

And I think it's because...I'm happy with my body there. I don't like to dance, cause I don't like how my body moves, I don't emote/gesticulate a lot cause it's been kind of shamed out of me. But there, I'm happy with me, even if I'm just a dollar store Zelda clone.

These virtual worlds allow me to be me, if only for a few hours a day. And they're even healing me up a little, because Virtual Worlds/Realities have done so much more mental healing than real life.

Better than therapy? Maybe. Back when I first got involved in Second Life a friend was worried I'd go in, and never come out. And I can see that danger. But seventeen years later, I feel better for being there and being me. And Resonite is doing even more. <3

I get to have something most of the rest of the world is allowed by default. I get to be me. Well, in Second Life. In Resonite, I'm Zelda. But that's still far closer to me than real life me. :)