so here's the thing: my taste in movies is...questionable. *gestures at drive-in, basement full of stacks of bad movies, my entire lifestyle*

also? i am a sucker for populist entertainment done well. and i happen to be married to an even bigger sucker for populist entertainment done well, and she is so LOUD at movies, and you have no idea how hard it is to be a Serious Movie Dude when the love of your life is whooping and hollering and cheering and laughing along with the show.

so, the answer is yes, i enjoyed the dragons and the dungeons. there was even a dragon IN a dungeon at one point, and it was surprisingly chubby; which should please some of you. it seemed to be put together by people who actually knew what they were doing, which doesn't always happen. Chris Pine plays a man so disgustingly rogueishly charming you will want to punch his dick clean off. Michelle Rodriguez plays herself, just not in a tank top this time. Hugh Grant plays a character so slimy that he can only be described as a walking bag of KY Jelly.

but, and i mean this with a big ol' asterisk, there are plenty of people out there who are getting tired of the Marvel movie formula. if you are one of these people, please be aware that even though this movie is not based on any Marvel properties, it is among the Marveliest of Marvel Movies, as if it had sprung fully-formed from the typewriter of Stanley "Excelsior" McMarvelstein himself. it's quippy, the action is fast and showy and kind of predictable, it is scientifically designed to make you eat popcorn 58% faster than normal, and you know in your heart of butter-clogged hearts as soon as you walk out of the theater that they'll be cranking out so very many more of these. there's even a shout-out to the "puny god" gag from "Avengers" that made you pee your pants in 2012.

making a movie using a formula that works is not inherently a bad thing, and does not inherently create bad movies. but it sets a precedent and subtly, slowly makes us aware that our audience buttons are being pushed by moviemakers who have turned button-pushing into an exact science. even as i sigh and give in to the inevitable tidal wave of early premieres of summer movies, as is my historical habit; it's reasonable to feel a little resentment of the process.