[me, every morning] "okay, i have this timed out exactly. i'm showered, i'm dressed, i've budgeted five minutes to take my meds, find my keys and out the door, seven minutes on the clock, should leave in plenty of time. just need to put my socks and shoes on."

*sits down on edge of bed*

[brain] "NOW ENTERING 'CONTEMPLATE OWN EXISTENCE FOR AN UNDETERMINED LENGTH OF TIME' MODE"

*twenty minutes later* "...fuck"