This Week's Fancy Pants Meal: End of Days Bolognese
As I continue to mine my YouTube cooking channels for recipes, I came across this one from "Nat's What I Reckon." I figured I'd give his Bolognese a try.
It's good, if a little sweet for me. I dunno if that's because I tend not to like a sweet tomato flavor or not...I salt my pizza. But the carrots certainly made it sweeter. It was very tasty, though, and I'd certainly make it again.
This makes a lot, since it's also really a sauce recipe, not a dish recipe, so scale accordingly.
Recipe follows. In the spirit of "Nat's What I Reckon" I kept the recipe in his very...specific...style. Get the kids out of the room. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw_Ze9zIafM )
# End of Days Bolognese
Nat's What I Reckon
3.0 stalks celery
2.0 whole carrots
1.0 whole red onion
200.0 grams pancetta
500.0 grams ground beef
500.0 grams ground pork
300.0 grams tomato paste
2.0 cups chicken stock
1.0 cup milk
1.0 cup red wine
2.0 tbsp butter
2.0 tbsp vegetable oil
1.0 sprig rosemary
salt (to taste)
pepper (to taste)
parmesan (grated) (to taste)
dried parsley (to taste)
52.0 ounces spaghetti
1 - Right, so dice the onion, dice the carrot, dice the celery, bang in a bowl.
2 - I'm gonna put the pancetta in there. You can put bacon in there as long as the fuckin' bacon or pancetta isn't fuckin' zucchini. So once you've cut that up bung it in the same bowl
3 - Right, so once it's cut up, fuck off over to the stove.
4 - Right, so get yourself a big pot or pan crank the heat up and fuckin' bang it on then.
5 - Then bang in some butter, a little splash of oil, then bang this shit in (the onion/carrot/celery/pancetta).
6 - Give it a kick around the butter and oil keep your pan nice and hot. You want to fry the fuckin' shit out of it.
7 - Next add the beef and the pork. So the idea is to try and fry all that off. There'll be a lot of water and piss in it that you'll try and cook off. This might take a sec but it's worth it. A hot tip for breaking up minces: use a whisk - it breaks it off evenly. Don't worry if it sticks to the bottom of it, once we bung the wine in that'll fuckin' sort that out.
8 - Right, see here's a moment we can choose to put a bit of rosemary in. If you don't want to put rosemary then don't worry about it. You can put thyme in, you can put a couple of fuckin' things in. Fuckin' put the whole rosemary thing in. It'll fall apart. You'll find the stick, doin't worry about it.
9 - See that watery shit? You want to cook that out. Keep cooking it till it's frying. It's not the fuckin' the end of the world if you don't, it's just better if you do.
10 - Right. once you fry the liquid off then fuck it up with some wine. Make sure you do this in the right order. Don't fuckin' put the stock in and then put the booze in. If the booze...just fuckin' don't.
11 - So once the booze is cooked off a bit, add the tomato paste. Stir that through.
12 - Next is the bit that I know fucks with your head but just trust me. Put the milk in and then add your stock, a good pinch of salt, a good crack of pepper, and bang in a couple of bay leaves. Give it a stir.
13 - Turn the heat down, bang the lid on it, and cook it for fuckin' as long as you like. The longer you cook it the nicer it is. Minimum 45 minutes, maximum forever. Just keep giving it a stir every now and then it you'll be alright.
14 - Right, so while that's cooking salt the fuck out of some boiling water and bang some pasta in it.
15 - Check on your sauce. If it looks a bit dry, add some more stock to it.
16 - If you look on the pasta package and it says 12 minute pasta I cook it for 11 minutes Better to undercook pasta then overcook.
17 - Right, I'd drain the pasta bang it back in the pot, ladle in some sauce, give it a kick around in there, and fuckin' serve it up champ!
18 - Grate a bit of cheese on it. Grate a lot of cheese on top.
19 - Chop up a bit of parsley, if you like. Put some of that bullshit on it.
Makes 26 servings at ~400 calories per serving
Calories 499
Total Fat 13g
Total Carbohydrate 46g
Protein 16g
