seeing how my teenaged nephew is navigating the rough seas of being too smart for his own good but easily frustrated to the point of anger when confronted with a problem outside of his mental sphere is making me recall basically everything i went through at his age. remembering being brought to fury and tears when something that was simple to others was incomprehensible to me, and how all offers of help regardless of intent were poisoned with patronizing and belittling so i pushed them away--besides, not figuring it out myself meant i was a loser. there was no acceptance of help that didn't lead to a shameful bout of self-loathing. i didn't understand that it didn't have to and shouldn't have been that way.

trying my best to offer help to him without triggering his "don't tell me what to do or how to do it" instinct.

i wish i could go back and cut out the bits where i learned everything wrong.