it's finally raining after a week-long heatwave here in the Midwest. thunder has been booming for hours now. Pearl hated thunder and would need physical contact and reassurance through every storm. now, trying to enjoy the sound of rain on the roof and gentle rolls of thunder across the sky, getting conflicting feelings. i hope Pearl's ghost is not too bothered. i hope she understands i would still be holding her if i could.

i keep miscalculating how many dogs are in the house. "Rose is in the front room, Ray is right here, so where is--oh. dammit."