Jenn Dolari @dolari@driveinsaturday.org

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLTZctTG6cE

#StarTrek

It’s ok alcohol calories

I can be pretty empty too

HR: You’re going to need to temper your enthusiasm.

Me: My last review you said you wanted more exuberance?

HR: ...but yelling “Fuck Yeah!” every time they announce there is cake in the break room isn’t what we had in mind.

My husband came home without eggs from the farm he's been buying them from because he noticed they put out a "Proud Republicans" sign.

Remember when you never knew how people voted? I do.

The library wants me to return a book I checked out on conquering procrastination. I feel they had fair notice it would be late.

Idea: Super-entity named "Headmaster" that operates out of a school

You would think that they run the place, but actually their power is having complete control over the physical properties and chemical composition of their head

Achievement Unlocked: strangers perceive you as a woman!

Achievement Unlocked: women treat you like one of the girls!

Achievement Unlocked: you now get attention from straight men...

A̶c̵h̸i̴e̸v̵e̵m̶e̷n̴t̶ ̶U̸n̴l̷o̷c̶k̶e̷d̸: straight men now look at you with hungry, vacant eyes

Ā̶̢̺̯̥̼̗̐͘ç̷̙̞̟̈́̍h̴̠͇̪̄i̵͎̮̽͗̌ę̴̳̣͈̃͗̌̄v̵̬͠ẻ̵͕͍̒͆ṃ̷̻̮̩̹͎̈͠e̸̱̺̟̝͓̓̄͜n̶̛͈͒̓͂t̴̡̰͔̣͌̈́ͅ ̷̡̤̫̐̽̏̇͝͝Ǘ̵̡̝͓̻͌n̵̝̼͎͙͊̀̈́͛͋̏l̵̢̲͓̐o̵͔̮͚̣͉̚c̸̱̪̯̯͌̊k̶̫̘̪̭̘̈́́̍̽̕e̴̢̗̹͉̮̊̓̑͗͂d̶͕̝̱̟̊̈́: obviously unsafe straight men now hit on you at the gas station

Ả̶̭̻̜͙̩̜͎̰͍̺͂͂̂̓̔̈́̿͒̽̈́̍̾͜ç̷̡̗̞̘͖̣̩̘͗͂h̷̢̺̣͉̬̟͑͆̓̀͆͐̈́͐̋̚i̸̲̖̻̫͋̈͋̎̚e̸̫̮͎͎͐̀͌͘̕͠v̵̨͈̜̮͈̞̦͗̋̈͝͠͝e̷͙̒̅̈̈́m̸͇̗͐̄́̽e̷̲̭̪͍̻̼̣̊̑̊̐͊̌͆͑͘̚͠͝ņ̶̧̞̫̝̯̻̣͔̗͈̔́̽͒̀̽́̂̏t̵̢̹͎̯͖͔̥̓̋̋̄́̊̂̀̚͝ ̶̛̞̫̣̱̄̿̏̃̅̐̉̋̚͘͝ͅU̵̡̧̨̲̰̗̥̣͉͐̒̽̚͠n̶̫̦̱̽͋̆̓l̶̡̧͖̭̰̹̯̣͎͚͇͋̌͑̈́͜ǫ̸̼̦͉̞̫́͑̀͂̇̾̏̿̑̚̚͝͝c̶̢̢͎̗̳̹̮̩̯͎̹̪͂k̷̥͖͐̉̄͊́̏̈́̅̄̿ĕ̵̛͇̼̯͎d̴̫͉̎͗͗͂ ̷̦̬̲̦́̂̈́́̾̽̿̓͊͜͝: you can't even buy a coffee without a man talking to you

It's the weekend, baby
#StarTrek

@DotMaetrix Me too 😲

Smart.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Seriously, what the fuck happened to google search?

We always win when we actually show up. You’d think we’d have showed up a bit more reliably before things got this bad. Now we have to show up like this. A lot. Because this ain’t over. It’s barely begun.

Source: @Karoli
https://mastodon.social/@Karoli@crooklyn.social/110856731584545069

how much caffeine can a human take

I want there to be a musical about Madam Pattirini, the Utah drag queen who was the child of Brigham Young, but I lack the time/talent/appetite for litigation from the Mormon Church necessary to make it myself