zx3 @zx3@driveinsaturday.org

now i'm radioactive. that can't be good.

so here's the thing: my taste in movies is...questionable. *gestures at drive-in, basement full of stacks of bad movies, my entire lifestyle*

also? i am a sucker for populist entertainment done well. and i happen to be married to an even bigger sucker for populist entertainment done well, and she is so LOUD at movies, and you have no idea how hard it is to be a Serious Movie Dude when the love of your life is whooping and hollering and cheering and laughing along with the show.

so, the answer is yes, i enjoyed the dragons and the dungeons. there was even a dragon IN a dungeon at one point, and it was surprisingly chubby; which should please some of you. it seemed to be put together by people who actually knew what they were doing, which doesn't always happen. Chris Pine plays a man so disgustingly rogueishly charming you will want to punch his dick clean off. Michelle Rodriguez plays herself, just not in a tank top this time. Hugh Grant plays a character so slimy that he can only be described as a walking bag of KY Jelly.

but, and i mean this with a big ol' asterisk, there are plenty of people out there who are getting tired of the Marvel movie formula. if you are one of these people, please be aware that even though this movie is not based on any Marvel properties, it is among the Marveliest of Marvel Movies, as if it had sprung fully-formed from the typewriter of Stanley "Excelsior" McMarvelstein himself. it's quippy, the action is fast and showy and kind of predictable, it is scientifically designed to make you eat popcorn 58% faster than normal, and you know in your heart of butter-clogged hearts as soon as you walk out of the theater that they'll be cranking out so very many more of these. there's even a shout-out to the "puny god" gag from "Avengers" that made you pee your pants in 2012.

making a movie using a formula that works is not inherently a bad thing, and does not inherently create bad movies. but it sets a precedent and subtly, slowly makes us aware that our audience buttons are being pushed by moviemakers who have turned button-pushing into an exact science. even as i sigh and give in to the inevitable tidal wave of early premieres of summer movies, as is my historical habit; it's reasonable to feel a little resentment of the process.

what's it called when you're distracted by how nice and pretty it is outside and you just can't concentrate on your work, but you loathe the idea of actually going outside and just want to play video games

current status:

https://youtu.be/mFGq92BYmt4

everyone please be safe out there tonight.

me: but we CAN'T get rid of all these CD's! they're offline archival material! what if we lose all our backups, and then an EMP knocks out the internet forever! we'd have no way of listening to any of this music!

also me: ...if that all happens we will have WAY more pressing issues to deal with than not being able to listen to...*grabs a random CD from the "Donate" stack*..."Christmas in the Stars, the Star Wars Christmas Album." jesus FUCK.

when i work, i do a lot of self-narration in my head as a kind of parallel thought process, as if i were explaining things to someone else, partially as a way to explain myself to myself.

sometimes my explanations are bullshit, and i know that, so i'll alter the narration to explain things more clearly and try to expose the heart of my motivations. sometimes i find myself having to justify something i've done a certain way for years without really thinking about it. this helps me when i don't have any particular inspiration or drive to complete something, and i'm just trying to get it done. i pick apart my brain and find reasons where there were none, or if i can't find good reasons, i try to think of ways to do the thing differently.

anyway i'm putting together this week's DiS and asking myself--as if i were an impartial but insistent observer, as one does--why i use artwork of a specific character who pops up from time to time in the interstitials and bumpers on the show, since ostensibly there's no real thematic connection between DiS and the character, and i've never been an avowed member of the (sometimes highly toxic) fandom of the show they are from.

what i came up with is this: it started as an in-joke in 2011, but i kept Derpy around. i feel a connection to this character because i often feel like a complete moron compared to my peers and the rest of the world, and i can relate to their experience of not fitting in--not just socially, but in the paradigm of the world they exist in. but they also have a relentlessly positive attitude and a reputation as a mildly powerful reality-warper, and both are things i aspire to. i want Drive-in Saturday to be a font of positive chaotic energy for myself and those that tune in.

also, it's my show and i don't need a reason, so go fuck yourself, me.

i am distraught by my inability to instantaneously teleport myself and my friends and many likeminded individuals to an earthlike exoplanet where we can just live and exist and be happy and healthy and content without all the bullshit we live through every day just for the privilege of staying on earth.

i would if i could.

there should be more pop songs about killing billionaires. i feel like this is an unexplored creative avenue.

my only complant about the Daft Punk Laser Show is that it needed to end with the full version of "Contact," which would have required about 27 additional laser arrays and would have rendered me drooling, bleeding from the eyes and fully Ludovico'ed.

otherwise, pretty fukken great! the Tron visuals during "Derezzed" triggered the biggest dopamine hit i've had in YEARS.

let's see some goddamned robot lasers