Jenn Dolari @dolari@driveinsaturday.org

Thoughts Before Bed:

My swimsuit from this weekend's swim is finally dried out. I squeezed out all the chlorine pool water, then gave it a good soaking in tap water, and squeezed it out again to drip dry.

I was just in the bathroom to take my pills before bed, and I caught a look at it hanging on its hanger. It's very much a woman's swimsuit. Shimmery spandex with bright purple trim. This isn't my first swim suit. In fact, I gave away my other one when it didn't fit anymore after having sat in a closet for nearly 20 years unused.

But there was a time when something like that was forbidden. I wasn't supposed to have that. Much less wear it to a pool. Having one felt wrong because it "wasn't for me." I mean, I knew it was right for me, but everyone else thought otherwise. And so I didn't have one, and when I did I rarely used it, late at night at an apartment pool until the neighbors complained.

And now it just sits there, all dry and ready for the next pool event. It doesn't care if I should have it or not, it's just doing it's job as best it can. And, twenty years after my last swim, and fourty from my last real regular swim, wearing it feels right.

It's fine for me to wear. I can use it. I should use it. I will use it.

After I get some safety pins to keep my darned skirt on.

Street Fighter Alpha 3 Upper? CAPCOM VS SNK 1 AND 2?!

Oh yeah. Loving this....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bkLKebJ2so

Last evening, I was having dinner with Lissa and Crystal and the topic of Ken Paxton's alarming public announcements about blocking mail-in ballots and trying to get lists of trans people. I mentioned "They're just trying to ligitimize corruption as how business as done in Texas," which is why they're so up front and matter of fact about it. And I got to thinking WHY would they use that kind of mindset to push their continuing corruption.

And I think it's because they're trying to create this idea in Texans heads that "We will do everything we can to save Texas from the evil bad guys." We will corrupt ourselves to make sure you're safe from the commies and socialists looking to...I dunno...make sure your kids eat.

It's the only reason I can think they'd announce this stuff so plainly out in the open, outside of "we're so safe no one can touch us."

Fun aside: I just had to go to Crystal's social media to determine WHAT Ken Paxton thing she was talking about. He's said SO many things.

Went out to check the mail tonight about 3AM. No big deal or anything - just an errand I decided to do before bed.

I forgot how much I enjoy being out at night. When I was throwing newspapers in the 90s, I was out every night at 2AM to about 4AM. Walking around apartment complexes in the dark witht he cool air. It's very refreshing.

I did this the other night, when the Pride Art Installation went up but before the plexiglass was installed. Out there at 3AM next to City Hall, enjoying the clean cool air, the quiet, the dark. So lovely.

I really want to do this more often, but I get the idea a random person walking around My Little Town at 3AM might be a little creepy-making for some people. :)

I'm very much a creature of the night.

Again, tastes good, but super dense...

I have unintentionally made giant MRE Wheat Snack Bread.

It's been almost two years and I'm STILL struggling with making bread.

I either knead too much or not enough and can't dial in the right amount. I've watched videos, following their instructions to the letter, and the dough never looks like in the video. I've asked for advice, rarely works. In the oven, there's no oven spring.

What I get is okay, but very dense, and often pretty dry. And never holds its shape.

I'm not getting better at it, and I think its just time to move on. I can at least do pastries and smaller breads. Just the Big Breads keep failing. :/

Lunch is... served....

I don't think Safeway put this in the right container.

I'm really enjoying my time in VR. Once I bought into the idea of it being a Star Trek holodeck, I really dove into it.

This pic of me watching a movie isn't really a posed picture like Second Life. It's actually me, watching a movie. Existing in a cabin in the snow. My POV is in the second pic.

It's funny. I still havent' lost that "look in the mirror, and see the right body staring back at you" feeling. But it's more normal now. I work in there during the Creator Jams, I explore worlds in there.

But sometimes I catch a reflection, or I walk past a mirror, and I catch a quick unexpected glimpse of...well...a close appoximation of the me that lives in my head. I still cry sometimes when I see me in that mirror.

But only when I really want to feel it now. 🙂

Also: My ear pokes out from under the hair! EEEE! THAT'S THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD, VR OR MEATSPACE! ❤

I realize this song is a lip synch parody of Star Wars, but every time I see it, I have to play it. The lyrics are stupid, but it's actually a really good song, and an instrant earworm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RySHDUU2juM

I didn't dream it! The watermelon at the farmer's market is real!

Not as sweet as the last one, but still sweeter than what I can get at the store. I had to share half of it with Crystal and Lissa, just cause that's too much watermelon for me.

Even the tupperware bowls are just half the watermelon!

Between physical therapy and tabling at Summerstage yesterday, and grocery shopping today, I think I over did it. My muscles are telling me to take it easy next time...

Huh. Mythical Kitchen made a video showing The Three Stages of Jenn's Transition. 1980s, 1990s, 2000s.

I still draw my comics as often as my health allows, but sometimes I have a little extra "oomph" to do something special for friends.

Down to three To-Dos from when the parents were here. And two of them are from BEFORE they got here. So I think I'm all caught up. 🙂